Goulash Philosophically speaking ...
About relationships: I have grown an inch with each tear I have shed and I came to realize that tears are to human spirit like rain is to flowers -- they cause you to grow or to develop root rot. When I found myself in a bad relationship or situation, I was lucky enough to have the good sense to transplant myself to a more nourishing garden before I withered and died. I have written volumes on this subject and you will find some of it on this page from time to time. Being an Army veteran, who has been married to a career soldier for nearly twenty years, you will also find a lot of poems and thoughts about the military ... but most of the things I've written that are relevant to the military, will be on my military pages.
About Parenthood: I have also written volumes on this subject. I was blessed to have an incredibly wise mother who was a great role model (as a writer as well as a parent) and I have a daughter who has given me two grandchildren who continue to provide me with material.
Every once in a while I come across something that just "fits" with my goulash philosophy so I will include it too. You will find two examples of "poems I wish I had written" at the bottom of this page. Both poems came to me as "author unknown" so if you can tell me the name of the author of either poem; I would be pleased to give them credit.
My Goulash Philosophy© is an attempt to make sense of what we know as life on earth. It is not my intention to persuade anyone to agree with my philosophy but I do hope to be able to entertain and enlighten you. If my words are able to invoke tears or laughter, if I cause you to look at yourself or someone else with more compassion, from a more loving and understanding perspective, then I will have accomplished the goal I set for myself when I decided to put my thoughts in writing. My goulash philosophy is rather like "Chicken Soup for the Soul" but with much more meat (pun intended). If you find something you like on my site that you wish to pass along, all I ask is that you give me credit as the author and if you use it on a website, please provide a link to my website. From time to time I will change the poems and stories.
my child's first word
and her first steps were
away from me. chh
first child - first steps
she stood up.
person lying there so
©Beauty is a temporary thing. Even the most beautiful flower will eventually wither and die and all it leaves behind is the memory of its beauty. The same is true of people. A person is only as beautiful as the memory they leave behind. I hope to be a beautiful memory. chh
No limitations – excerpts from Goulash Philosophy©
Fortunately for me, I had a mother who drilled it into my head early on that my only limitations in life would be in my own mind so; therefore, I had no limitations. Lucky for me, ignorance really is bliss at times. Over the course of my life I have had far too many jobs and occupations to even attempt to list them. Like all of us, I did what I needed to do to survive and raise my child. Hunger is a great motivator. Fear of poverty is another. When you have the responsibility of another human being, you become very resourceful. When I found out that bookkeepers made twice as much as secretaries, never mind that I couldn't even balance my own check book, I applied for the job. I not only became a bookkeeper, I became a damn good one.
When I found out that the local radio station needed a manager and learned that the salary was twice as much as what I was making as a bookkeeper – well, I had listened to radio all of my life so I told myself that I was more than qualified. I applied for the job and got it. After a brief learning curve was rounded, I ended up making some creative changes in the station which boosted our ratings considerably. And on and on it has gone throughout my life.
For a few years, after surviving two divorces and cancer, I worked as a motivational speaker. I learned to maintain a sense of humor during the most dismal of times. It wasn't always that way; believe me. I did my share of crying and feeling sorry for myself. I went through some truly despondent periods where I felt abandoned by God and felt He was going out of His way to punish me for some mortal sin I had apparently forgotten about. There were times when I was so weary that I just didn't see how I could go on and then I would look at my daughter; I derived immeasurable strength from her. She needed me so I learned to laugh more, cry less, and over a period of time it really did get easier.
It's all about choices and making the best of the hand you have been dealt by life. You can choose to be miserable or you can choose to be happy. I chose to be happy.
The most profound thing happened to me the day that I decided that being diagnosed with cancer was a blessing instead of a curse. I decided to look at it as an opportunity to get my life in order. Overnight I made sweeping adjustments in my priorities. Things that had seemed so important suddenly didn’t matter at all. Other things that had been so unimportant became very important. It was a reality check. My “wake-up” call. I learned to take nothing for granted. I eventually made peace with God and myself and I never looked back. I became intensely appreciative of every blessing and was truly grateful for every day I lived and I still am. It's been a bumpy ride but I'm going to enjoy it to the end and have come to realize that everyone would benefit if they lived every day like it was their last.
In the midst of a crisis the human body adapts in many ways which helps us cope and endure. I am firmly convinced that being able to see (or recall) humor in even the most desperate of situations, is one of the keys to surviving hardships. At the most desperate of times I would recall my mother saying, "Don't take life to seriously because you will never get out of it alive" (you can see where I got the weird sense of humor). Remembering this helps to keep things in perspective and makes laughter a viable alternative to tears. I really do want to exit laughing and it truly is one of the most cathartic, natural and beneficial exercises.
As you read through my goulash philosophy – of what I hope will be a complete book some day – I am totally confident that you will recognize someone you know; possibly yourself, in these words. I hope that it will help you to see that we are all pretty extraordinary in our own way – it’s just that some of us have yet to be challenged.
I have learned that the only true legacy is the memory you leave behind and the only true measure of wealth is the sum total of what you give away; not what you accumulate. To that end, I give freely of my material possessions but, more importantly, I also give freely of my heart. My life goal is that every person I meet, whether for a few seconds or many years, will benefit from the encounter.
Life is so much easier when you finally realize that just by putting a little “extra” in front of “ordinary,” it isn't all that difficult to be extraordinary.
it's hard to believe there's a God
One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen.
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.
But then a stranger print appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?
This print is large and round and neat,
But Lord, it is too big for feet."
My child," He said in somber tones,
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to live by faith,
Pick up your cross and walk in grace.
You disobeyed, you would not grow,
You would not stand against the flow.
Your neck was stiff, your ears were shut,
So there I dropped you on your butt.
Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, when one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave a butt print in the sand."
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